Reflections
by Shiguya Retomasi
Summary: Why are we here, what guides us forward in the play we call life? Do we have a choice, or are we mere puppets? For Kitsu, that question has become an obsession. One that may lead her into things best left out of mortal hands... Rated M for language. Enjoy
1. part 1

Disclaimer: all characters, places and recognized names are copy write their respective owners. Anything else is mine, so please don't be a thief; Shadowbane doesn't appreciate it.

/ \Denotes voices only Kitsu hears

_Italicized_ words are thoughts.

**Reflections**

I awoke slowly, listening to the rhythmic ticking of the clock; letting the soft sound ease me back to consciousness. My body hurt from expending so much energy at once, but it was a small price to pay. My job was done; Charis' soul was purified of corruption and ready to be reincarnated…yet something still bothered me. His words had struck deep, reopening long healed wounds and bringing with them a new sense of doubt; one that I hated. My purpose in this world may be hidden from me, but there was no WAY I was wrong about the journey to it. I have survived over 1200 years on my own, relying on no one but myself. It was impossible that all this time I was wrong about my convictions, and if I've wasted this much time AND energy, there will be hell to pay.

A series of chimes followed by two hollow bongs shook me out of my thoughts. I stood up slowly, moving with uneasy steps, trying not to make much noise. Even with my night vision, it was difficult to see in the inky blackness; William rarely left any lights on at this time of night, using only a few dim bulbs on for anyone wandering around in the dark. Rather than risk tripping and breaking my neck, I jumped onto the couch; falling asleep the instant my head hit the soft cushions.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I woke up later in the morning, feeling much better. The warm rays of light filtering through the curtains helped ease the dull ache in my body. The strain of keeping two souls bound to this world, along with the overexertion from losing my temper, had drained me of too much energy. Combined with the alcohol, the strain had caused me to feel my true age; something I don't want to repeat.

"Oi, Breakfast is on!" I cringed at those words; breakfast, along with any other meal at the manor is at best a mad dash to be the first there, which often became and argument over what to order, unless William had already prepared something.

Normally, I find this ritual to be quite amusing; watching a bunch of adults squabble like kits over pizza toppings is interesting, but right now I don't feel great. Thankfully, I was still on the couch when William shouted those words; leaving me out of the way as the other residents thundered past. Once the arguing began, I stretched, ignoring how several of my joints cracked and snapped, yawned widely, and then jumped down and wandered off for a quick shower.

With everyone in the kitchen, the manor felt empty. The quiet ticking of the grandfather clock boomed over the silence left in their absence. For a moment… I missed their presence; but it passed quickly. Like I need anyone around, I'm happiest when alone. It took a bit more effort than usual to get up the stairs, mostly because I was still tired from a lack of sleep, but also from a lack of energy; the only thing driving me on was the thought of a hot shower and prolonging the peace.

The upstairs hallway was quiet; with the dull roar muffled by the rest of the manor it was truly peaceful up here. I sat down, taking the time to catch my breath and let the dull ache in my chest subside.

The pain slowly went away, draining with it most of my remaining strength. At least no one was around to see me in such a weakened state; I refuse to lose my dignity, especially after barely patching it up. While I tried to catch my breath, an annoyingly familiar voice called out to me from the bathroom. Growling to myself, I stood up slowly; trying to keep my composure as I followed the voice.

William always left the doors in the manor ajar slightly, unless someone wanted privacy. Seeing as everyone living here besides me, Azarus, Dracoris and himself have trouble working door handles, it's a common courtesy. I pushed the door open with a paw, ignoring the quiet laughter coming from within.

/ I see the answer you received was not one you wanted to hear. It's sad when one's views are proven wrong. \

"Bah, I only told him that his words had meaning to shut him up; nothing more." I glared at my reflection, quickly losing patience with its irritating attitude.

/ And yet here you are. \

"What's that suppose to mean?" My reflection only broadened its grin, green eyes sparkling with amusement. "I know you're just a figment of my imagination, so start making sense." _I still can't believe I'm arguing with myself like this; I'm a Masaharu, not some common Ninetails who's suffering a breakdown._

/ If I am but an illusion, why do my words get to you so well? \

"Because they don't make a lick of sense; and I can't stand being toyed with. I know there's more to you than it seems."

/ Sometimes things are not just black and white as you would think them to be. \

"Yes, quite often red is mixed in with that." My reflection looked down, shaking her head slowly._ Hah, got her good with that one._

/ You still do not understand… \

"What's there to understand? I've found another of the occurrences, and it's now a matter of finding its purpose." I could care less about what happens to them beyond that; I do have to perform the ritual to return their souls to living forms, but that's it. My reflection suddenly looked back up, smirking.

/ Then I guess we have much to talk about. \

"Doubtful. The stress that created you is fading, meaning this should be the last time I have this daydream." Her grin broadened, showing a number of white teeth.

/ Who said this I'm a stress related hallucination… \

"Don't fuck with me, if you're some malign presence…" I cut my threat short, instead letting out a low growl to show my anger. I could feel my temper flaring; having to endure a stress related hallucination was one thing, but being manipulated by another is something I will NOT put up with.

/ Now, now; it's undignified for a Teragashi to use such language. \ Her words cut my growl short; only a few alive knew my family name, and all but Tatakichi live in the manner…

"… How do you know that name?"

/ Isn't it obvious yet, or are you still being stubborn like the time you thought Tatakichi had taken the biscuit that was for you? \ I stared, not quite believing what she had said…no one knew about that besides her and me…

/ You argued with her, eventually resorting to fighting until Kentako broke it up. \ _How… how did she know? Was she reading my mind?_

/ He scolded you good for starting a fight, but it was nothing like when your mother yelled at you_ \ No… it's too detailed; mind reading from a distance is sketchy at best…_

/ Your ears were ringing the rest of the day from how loud she got, and in the end it was over nothing. \ _She had held onto it for me to eat after dinner. _

"Stop it!" I tried to stop my mind from racing, there was no WAY anyone could have known about that…not even Tatakichi knew that last detail. "…Who- or what are you?"

/ A figment of your imagination, if you choose to still believe that. But for now, you may know me as Key Master. \ That same glitter was in her eyes, along with a hint of something…ancient.

"Key Master, huh? And if I do buy into this, which I don't, what's your purpose besides tormenting me?"

/ Does it really matter, seeing as I'm just hallucination? \

"If it means getting rid of you faster, yes."

/ Ah, to the point with total disregard for how others feel; one day you may just realize how much damage it does…but for now, you are still blind to such things. \

"Enough of the sob story and answer my question." My reflection only chuckled softly, flicking a few tails playfully. I bared my teeth at her indignant before looking away toward the shower. Already I could feel the hot water running through my fur; easing away both the soreness and the frustration in a rush of comforting heat.

"Screw this, I need a shower." Without even looking back, I hopped lightly into the tub; ignoring the cold porcelain against my paws. I sat down, fanning my tails out and taking a moment to adjust to the cold feeling before closing my eyes and turning on the water. With a sputter, the nozzle came to life; spraying a wave of frigid water onto my already weary body. I stayed still, fighting the urge to shiver while the pipes were flushed, finally warming up. The transition of cold to hot sent a wave of pleasure, combined with a mildly uncomfortable tingle through my sore body. I felt the heat massaging the dull aches from my body, leaving me soaking wet but feeling better.

The steam billowed around me, clouding my vision and clearing my sinuses in a rush of moist air…it reminded me of the old days. Kentako and I had used to take regular trips to the hot springs near our home. At first we were alone, and then HE started tagging along… I shook my head vigorously, spraying droplets of water around the room. THAT was a trip down memory lane best avoided.

Still blinded by the water in my eyes, I carefully turned the water off and groped for a towel.

/ Funny how you can find being around others so distasteful, yet you enjoy the simple pleasures that come with it. \ I instinctively glared up at the cloudy mirror, only meeting my own stare.

/ Ah, ah, ah, lesson one: to find out what lies ahead, you must first learn to not rely on just what you know to be true. \ _The sound came from somewhere… behind! _

I wheeled around, only finding the empty shower for my trouble.

/ Good, now you're getting it; though you really shouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions. \ The voice was still coming from the same area, yet I'm still alone.

"Is this some sort of game?" Something about this seems familiar…

/ No, more of a simple exercise to see if you are capable of learning a few new things about life. \

"Hmph, I already know everything that is necessary to survive. And besides, what does learning about not being jumpy have to do with anything?" That nagging sense of someone watching me from behind returned, only this time I ignored it; searching for the underlying presence.

/ Oh, it has more to do with things than you think; and without learning them, what you seek will always elude you. \

"And I suppose you're the only one who can teach me?" _I know she's here somewhere… I can almost smell her… no, it's not her exactly… it was like a strong perfume of Rabuta berry blossom and juice… somewhere close…_

/ No, there are many that can teach you… you have but to listen. \ I closed my eyes, focusing on that scent…

"If you mean Charis and that freak of nature he cares about so much; I would rather spend another thousand years searching than listen to one WORD he has to say." _That scent… it's in front of me?_ I opened my eyes slowly; trying not to show any surprise when my gaze met another green eyed Ninetails.

/ Ah, you're learning; a good sign. \

"Is this some sort of sick joke?" I stared at the other Ninetails, letting her features sink in. She was an exact duplicate of me; only she didn't hide her scars under an illusion. It was like looking into a breathing, three-dimensional mirror… a reflection of myself given form. Her gaze was unblinking; those brilliant green eyes ran deep with mischief, and knowledge beyond even me…like staring into fate itself. I ignored the smirk on her muzzle, instead trying to figure out just what was going on.

/ In time, you may yet discover what you seek. But for the moment, there is much work to be done. \

"What work? Charis is cured of the dark magic that corrupted him; now all I must do is figure out why he's important to my fate and be done with it." Key Master just shook her head, the playful light in her eyes fading into one of sympathy.

"What, you know something different? Am I wrong about Charis meaning something in my destiny?" She just kept shaking her head, walking past me without a word. I turned and watched her go, noting that her tails were dragging along the floor, a horrible disgrace. She looked back once, fixing me with a piercing gaze.

/ You may never understand just how wrong you are… or how far you have fallen… \

Before I could even reply, she bounded out the door without a sound. _Hmph, how far I've fallen? Pah, I'm still the dignified Masaharu I was in feudal times._ I flicked a few tails in annoyance, trying my best not to let her words get under my skin. Yet her words dug deep, just like how Charis' sheer devotion to that creature… Blackwind. _The strength of his conviction, and the look of determination in his eyes… _

I shivered involuntarily at that thought; never in my travels had I seen such strong conviction; it was unnerving to think about how far he would go to protect his vile love interest. _Could it be something more than just love?_ It's entirely possible; he took great risk even speaking with… Blackwind while I was gone, knowing full well what I would do; yet he did it anyway. _What could drive him to such lengths for another? _With that thought weighing down on my mind, I hooked my towel on the wall before wandering out myself.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I spent a few hours lying in the sun, soaking in the warm rays and trying to relax. The light shone through Charis' soul gem, causing bright red rays to dance across the floor. Even with everyone else preoccupied with whatever it is they do around here, I still didn't feel at ease. What Key Master had said still bothered me.

'_How far I've fallen'…what could that mean? When Kentako died, I was so lost. Being by his side in battle was the only thing I'd ever known… and with him gone, I had nothing_. I stared at the patterns of light, twitching my ear out of boredom. It seems like so long ago… _I stayed at the Masaharu manor for many years, pining over his death… in time everyone else abandoned it; moving on in their lives, but I couldn't. It was like…if I left, his memory would fade into the blackness of time, vanishing without really leaving anything lasting behind. _sigh, Its times like this, when I'm alone, that the memories of a lifetime past surface.

The warmth started making me drowsy, so I stood up slowly; arching my back and stretching before turning to the couch; coming face to face with Key Master again. That same look shone in her deep green eyes; even more so than before. I growled softly, more out of annoyance at her taking my favorite spot than as a threat.

"What do you want?" She simply smiled, flashing a few of her too white teeth and shuffling over; leaving just enough space for me to lie down next to her. She fanned her tails out, creating a pocket of graying fur along the couch cushions. I stayed where I was; not trusting what her motives could be.

/ You shouldn't be worried; after all, I'm just a figment of your imagination brought on by stress, right? \ Her eyes were warm, though it was impossible to really read what was behind those dark orbs. A part of me wanted to trust her, if only to have someone that I could talk…more freely with. But I still hesitated; being close to anyone wasn't something I particularly enjoy anymore.

"You know just as well as I that even hallucinations can hold hidden dangers." Her smile flickered, changing to a disappointed look for a brief moment, before returning to a playful grin. It was unnerving, to say the least.

/ But, sometimes we must take chances to achieve the goals we seek. \ Damn, she has me there; it took that kind of thinking for me to find William. But doing that would mean trusting a hallucination… _bah, why am I even debating it?_ I flicked a tail in annoyance; sitting down and fixing her with a cold stare.

"Yes, that is true. But there are other times that a warm gesture can harbor cold intentions." That and I won't be taken for a fool. Again her smile flickered, this time taking longer to recover. _Heh, let's see her get out of that one_. As if reading my mind, Key Master stood up on her forelegs, giving me a mixed look before sliding off the couch.

/ I see that there is no reason to continue this argument. Perhaps another time you will be more open to new ideas. \ She walked by me without looking back, still dragging her tails along the floor. Something about it made me want to follow her, but I held my ground; following would only mean that I actually agree with her. Only when she vanished around the corner to the kitchen did I tear my gaze away.

"New ideas, pah. The only 'new idea' I want is how to get rid of her."

With her gone finally, I leapt lightly onto the couch; stretching out to my full length and letting a paw hang over the edge. Again, that feeling of doubt returned; this time a bit stronger than before. _How many now have I hurt? Two hundred, maybe more; and for what?_

My ears twitched involuntarily, causing the earrings to tap my head a few times before becoming still again. _What's it matter anyway, they're all dead by now; such is the curse of mortality._ Damn her for causing me to doubt my actions; everything was going fine until now. And with the second key event at paw too. _Maybe this is a test? Could fate have meant for me to endure such an annoyance as a test to prove my worth?_

"Why can't things be easy for once?" _To be surrounded by others yet still alone; is this my fate?_ Mind you, I do prefer my solitude, but even that gets boring after a while. sigh, _Only one-way to find out._

Without adjusting my position, I closed my eyes slowly; shutting out all external stimuli and letting my mind slip into a trance. The first thing that changed was the temperature; it was like the omnipresent fire within me was snuffed out, replaced with a cold shock. Then, the world around me went black; plunging me headfirst into the darkness that is existence outside of time. Slowly, the threads of fate began to reveal themselves; starting out as a few faint strings, weaving their paths in an unexplainable ballet of action and reaction.

Soon, the masterpiece of possibilities began to reveal itself, starting as flashes from both the past and future; little more than snippets of what has been, or what could be. As more strings wove together, I let my consciousness drift outward; riding along the weaving threads in search of anything useful.

To those without any experience, the altered existence would seem like nothing more than a chaotic jumble of images; much like a human trying to watch several motion pictures at the same time; only with no rhyme, reason or context to the content. But, to someone who knows enough about chrono spellcraft, it can be an extremely useful source of information.

Images flashed by, William standing over the body of an Eevee, one that I didn't recognize. He was saying something in a quiet voice, but before I could learn more, the image vanished, only to be replaced by another. What I presumed to be Tatakichi and me chatting quietly, probably about old times judging by how cheerful she seemed. Something was odd about it though…her stomach seemed bigger than I remember it… Again, the image vanished; replaced by yet another. What I recognized to be Key Master and… Charis? They were standing side by side, both talking with me… but something was different. Charis had a tarnished key hanging around his neck…one that radiated a strong energy…

I let go of that thread, drifting further into the web in search of new information. More images drifted by me; A young Vaporeon pair, lying together watching the sunset… a Pikachu in a green jacket leaping in front of a blonde human, taking a bullet for him… A Pokémon I've never seen before talking with what I thought was a human… A lone Absol talking with a gray eyed Mightyena… Kentako laying dead on the battlefield… the images sped up, becoming a mindless blur. It was too much…too long… I let out a deep howl as the chaos threatened to overtake me…


	2. part 2

o0o0o0o0o0o0

The familiar sight of the manor's living room slowly came back into view, though blurry. It felt like I'd been in that trance for hours, but the hollow chime told me that it had only been an hour or so. I blinked several times, trying to get my vision back in focus. That's the only downside of scrying fate; it leaves you really disoriented. And the worst part is it was a complete waste of time.

/ Only because you still blind yourself to such things. \ I snapped my head toward the sound of that voice, curling my lip when my gaze met the all too familiar form of Key Master.

/ In time, maybe you will gain the clarity to understand. \ She smiled innocently, flicking her tails in an amused fashion.

"I'm blind to things? Hah, I have better clarity than most could ever even dream of achieving in a lifetime. What could I possibly be blind to?" Key Master's demeanor stayed friendly, but her eyes reflected a darker mood.

/ Acceptance, for one; which, ironically is the first lesson that you must learn. \ _What could acceptance have to do with…oh; fuck…she couldn't mean… I have to deal with Blackwind again? Even the thought of being near that vile creature again makes my skin crawl. Why Charis would even associate himself with that thing still baffles me._

"What could acceptance have to do with anything important?" _And why would I have to accept anything. Having lived over a thousand years, there's really no reason I should have to 'accept' anything I find distasteful._

/ More than you think. \ I snorted and stretched, making it a point to show my indifference to her words.

"Right…like accepting that Charis supposedly found happiness with another freak like the one Kentako was with will do anything for me." _That, and there's no way in HELL I'll ever acknowledge them._

/ Still you blind yourself- \

"Oh, get off of it; I can see things in this world just fine. The only thing holding me back is you." Key Master let out a low growl, flashing me a dangerous look. I held my ground, silently daring her to challenge me. It was a slight disappointment when she just shook herself down vigorously and stalked off, giving me a sharp glare before heading upstairs. _Too bad, I'm itching for a good fight with her; maybe then she'll go away._ _Ah well, at least now I can try to figure out those images in peace._

Most of it doesn't make much sense; the threads of fate were too tightly woven at this point to learn much beyond fragments. _Along with a memory that was best left buried. _Only a few of those really meant anything; the gray-eyed Mightyena was probably Damitri, though it could have been another member of the Shadow paws… it's hard to tell. And I've seen at least one of the Vaporeon's before, but which one I can't tell. _And how can I ever forget the day Kentako died… I lost so much… Kentako was my entire life, even though he never knew it. And when I found what he was to his friend… it hurt so much… _Bah, he's long dead; as his memory should be. A loud growl from my stomach broke that train of thought thankfully. _I wonder if any of William's meatloaf is still leftover from last night. _

"Mmm, leftovers." With all thought about the images I'd just seen and Key Master pushed out of my mind, I jumped down lightly and trotted off toward the kitchen; trying hard not to drool at the thought of William's cooking. Not that I would ever admit it was that good to him; it's best to keep others ego's in check, makes getting what you want done easier. _It didn't used to be this way…_ Gah! Why am I still thinking about that? It's not like pining over the past will accomplish anything beyond making the present less livable. And it's not productive; all it does is drive my goal further away in a wave of nostalgia-

"Something wrong?" I nearly leapt out of my skin at the voice. In one motion I wheeled around, coming face to face with Dracoris.

"What do you want?" It was impossible to read what was going on behind those mismatched eyes, even for me. More than once I had tried, every time only getting a headache; it was like he had a natural defence against intrusion… or he was just that dense. Either one could be possible.

"I was just wondering if you were feeling all right." _Why wouldn't I be? And why would I tell him, or anyone how I'm feeling?_

"I'm doing fine, why do you ask?" _And why the hell did you sneak up on me?_

"You've been standing there for ten minutes muttering to yourself, it just seemed odd." The look in his eyes was cheerful, not surprising seeing as Dracoris is almost always happy about one thing or another. I've wondered on occasion why he's like that; certainly it isn't from anything growing up, not after the way Kera treated him…

"I was just thinking about a few things, that's all." _…How in the hell did I get that lost in thought? And for that matter, how long was he standing there listening to me?_

"If you're still wondering, there's still some leftover meatloaf. Not sure how much though, Shadowbane just raided the fridge." The jewel on his forehead flashed a few times, changing from the normal red to blue, then back to red each time.

"Good, she avoided it; must have been the onions." His innocent smile was disarming…to the point I didn't bother coming up with a sharp remark.

"Sure there's enough? Sounds like you had your sights set on it too." _Mind you, I'll weasel it away if there's only enough for one of us, but it would be more… agreeable if it didn't come to that; just about all of my attempts to manipulate him have failed, much to my annoyance._

"I'm sure that if there isn't, we can come to a reasonable agreement." His smile stayed the same, but the look in his eyes changed ever so slightly. It was something I'm sure that he does only against me; probably as a warning, but he's never tried anything direct. It never failed to send a shiver down my spine, though; every time he gave me that look, it meant he had seen through my latest scheme and was silently telling me just that.

"Yes, I'm sure we can." I kept my voice even, trying to mask the fact that he had preemptively stopped me from pulling anything on him. He nodded, taking his gaze from me and walking by; flicking his tail to some unheard beat. Once he was past, I followed, making sure that no one saw me. We divided up the leftovers equally; something that pained me, but there was no arguing with Dracoris. With that unpleasantly out of the way, I took my plate of cold meatloaf outside, more interested in being alone than having a warm meal.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

The cold air was refreshing; it felt good to be outside for a bit. At least it's too cold for anyone else to be out here; some peace and quiet is a nice change. I made a beeline for the greenhouse, looking over my shoulder a few times just to make sure no one was following; I prefer to eat in private. That's one of the good things about fall; unless we have a particularly warm day, everyone is content to stay indoors unless they need something specific. And as an added bonus; most of the wild Pokémon have either migrated to warmer areas or holed up for the duration, pretty much ensuring that I can relax for a while undisturbed.

It took a bit longer than usual to remove the padlock; mostly because my mind was distracted and I kept inputting the wrong numbers. Then there was the nagging feeling that someone was watching me… even though I was alone outside… unless SHE decided to bother me again. Knowing how fate's been treating me lately, it's probably William wondering what I'm doing out here in the cold.

I was just considering giving up when the lock in question gave a satisfying click, finally allowing me access to the greenhouse. Not wanting to be noticed, I quickly slipped inside; relocking the door behind me before taking my meal and settling in by the Pecha bushes. The scents of a dozen berry bushes, all blooming out of their normal seasons helped calm my still frazzled nerves. In this quiet place, I could escape from the irritations of normal life at the manor and really-

/ Still hiding from those who wish to be around you? \ I whipped around, almost throwing the plate of meatloaf in surprise.

"Oh great, you're still around…" I growled softly, trying to keep myself under control, it wouldn't be good to lose my temper and wreck something.

/ Of course I am; you still have much to learn. \ That irritatingly cheerful voice came from another source this time; she's probably just playing a game at my expense. I did my best to ignore the amused laughter, instead focusing on my now chilled plate of meatloaf. _Mmm, extra onion, just how I like it. _Without caring if she was watching or not, I gingerly picked up the first slice, taking a moment to savor the taste before wolfing it down hungrily.

/ Still thinking with your stomach, eh? \

"Stuff it; I'm not in the mood to be taunted." Being interrupted while eating was one thing I was NOT prepared to tolerate. Without waiting for her to continue, I started back in on the meatloaf; taking more time to actually enjoy it. Like many other things, I never admit just how good William's cooking is; he does better without getting a big ego about things.

/ I don't believe you're in any position to tell ME what to do, Teragashi. \ The voice changed location again, seemingly coming from the glass itself. This time, there was a sharp tone to it; like a teacher reprimanding a student, yet another thing I refuse to simply tolerate.

"Oh? And are you in such a position that you can command me?" I listened intently, finishing the last slice without really tasting it; every sense was on high alert, waiting…

/ You will find that I more than qualified to teach the likes of you. \ Her voice had that same sharp edge… and a bit of irritation if I'm not mistaken. _Heh, guess I'm finally getting under her skin._

"There is only one I will ever listen to without question, and he died long ago_." Let William think he has control over me; I will never be his puppet like the others._

"Unlike a few I can name, there is nothing in this world that could ever compel me to think like Charis; acceptance is for the weak, I-"

I let out a loud yelp when a jolt of pain coursed through my right ear. It hurt so badly… like something was melting my flesh from the inside out…

/ Do you not feel it? Charis' soul crying out at the cruelty of your words, lashing out in any way he can? \ The pain spread down my skull, like something was eating away at me from within.

"What are you… doing to me… ?" It hurt so badly I could barely even speak. Soon it reached my chest, tearing away at my lungs and making it difficult to breathe.

/ I have nothing to do with it. Charis' soul is the one wracking your body with such pain… just like the pain you brought upon the one he cares so much about… \ Even through the pain, I swear her voice carried a note of sorrow…This thought, along with all other rational ones were driven out of my mind when my entire body seized up; every bone threatening to snap under the strain.

"It's not… possible. In his state… he shouldn't be able… to affect anything…in the physical world…" Spots began flashing in front of my eyes; the pain kept getting worse…

/ Anything can be possible, but only if you choose to see it. \ Just as I started to black out, the pain vanished; leaving behind only a numb feeling. I gasped for air, trying hard not to panic from how intense the pain had been.

"What was that?" It felt like I had been caught in my own shock net…but how is that possible? _So far, Key Master has proven to have no capability of affecting me physically…yet where did that pain come from? _

/ A taste of the pain Charis witnessed you throw upon the one he cares about… if but only a fraction of the pain your words and actions caused him… _Bullshit_; Soul gems are self-contained; a sort of container that keeps them bound to the physical plane. And as a container, the soul is cut off from the material place; usually held within a state of suspended animation until they are released once again. It's true that Charis and… him… are still active within my pocket dimension, but they both should still be sealed there, right?

"So, resorting to physical reprimands to make me dance to your tune?" Hah, like a little pain…no matter how blinding will make me bow down and lick her paws.

/ As I said before, that pain was from Charis, not me. Besides, how can a simple hallucination cause even a minor discomfort to the high and mighty Teragashi? \ Her voice had changed again; this time carrying a note of mockery with it. Just the thought of her looking down her muzzle at me…like I was some upstart kit that needed to be taught proper manners… _calm down, she's probably trying to make me angry. That's the first step in breaking another's resolve… think rationally. _

"Let's pretend for a moment that I believe you. Is there some way I can prevent that from happening again?" _Great, now it sounds like I care._

/ Simple; don't call Charis or Blackwind weak, or any other such names. \ _That's it? Don't insult Charis? Man, talk about lame…_

"Right…why didn't I think of that? 'Not insulting the two I'm watching over'; brilliant idea." I yawned widely, the combination of a good meal, the light fragrances, and a residual numbness from that unbelievable pain was finally taking its toll on me. "I'm taking a nap, feel free to… Yawn bug me some more later…" Without even waiting for a reply, I stretched myself out, laid my head upon my forepaws, and fell asleep.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

Too bad the physical world wasn't the only one out to get me. It was probably some sort of devilish magic from nullifying Reapers' power… but somehow it felt… like I was meant to have that dream. I saw my master, Kentako; he was with… him. Just the thought of what I saw that day still makes me nauseous… and in a way, tugs at my chest. There he was, the one I had devoted my life to serve, and even began to love… in bed with another… another male.

It was like my entire world had been shattered, fragmenting into a thousand shards… never to be whole again…even now the pain of that day still haunts a dark part of my soul. I fucking hate him…the human who took Kentako from me…though he may never have felt anything in return; that bastard still destroyed all hope for me. It was that day I swore vengeance against him…and all like him; the ones who had taken the only one I would ever love from me.

If that wasn't enough of an irritation, my subconscious also forced me to relive the day he died. By then, I had already sterilized our relationship into a master/servant one; and only that because of honor. My bloodline is closely tied with the Masaharu's; we lived to serve them so to speak. But…in some indirect way, he had betrayed me. I was just angry over him being with another, but what truly hurt was seeing the one I had grown to love being taken away before my very eyes.

His death did hurt, more in the loss of a friend and my only love, but I quickly moved on from it. It was that happening, incidentally, that caused me to start seeking my true fate; if I wasn't to be with him, then there must be a purpose to my life, or so I thought then. Now that I'm so close to it, fate decided to make my life a living hell again; not only being reminded of so many things that should have stayed buried, but also having to deal with an irritating hallucination.

/ I may be a hallucination, as you see it, but I'm only trying to help you. \ I growled quietly at that last comment; I don't need anyone's help, certainly not the help of a stress related hallucination. _Yet it wasn't always like that… there was a time I would have gladly accepted the help of another…_

"If you want to help me so badly, then go the hell away; that would be a big help." I got up, stretching out to my full length and cracking my back once. Then I gave my fur a quick once over just to make sure I wasn't disheveled, downed a quick Rabuta berry, and walked slowly toward the door. By now, night had fallen, though the air inside the greenhouse was still pleasant, minus the less than welcome presence.

/ Would if I could, your not exactly the most pleasant of company; but I still have a purpose to fulfill in this world. \ _Yeah, right. The only purpose I can see you have is to piss me off; something she's doing a DAMN good job of. Yet… why would a figment of my imagination be bound to a purpose?_

"What the hell are you talking about? Like something my subconscious is tormenting me with could have any other reason for existing." _Something doesn't add up quite yet… if the stress that brought her on is finished, why am I still hearing her?_

/ I am the Key Master, my entire existence is only to bring together the six key bearers; for what purpose I have no knowledge, please don't ask. Getting to irritate you is just an added bonus. \ _Great… not only do I have to deal with William's now…gay son, but a personal demon as well; just fucking great._

"In other words…" _I can sum it up in one word; FUCK!_

/ Yep, you're stuck with me; so get used to it. \ _sigh, This is just my luck; guess its true what they say; 'you reap what you sow'. There must be a way to turn this to my advantage, but what could it be? _

"And just why didn't you tell me this before?" _And what the hell do you have to do with the puzzle that is my true fate?_ Key Master was silent for a moment, normally something I would be thankful for, but this time it was even more irritating. _I swear whatever it takes to be rid of her, I'll do it._

/ I hesitated to tell you for just this reason; it seemed likely you would react negatively. Judging by how angry you look I was right. \ _Damn straight I'm angry; having to deal with a hallucination is bad enough, but being stuck with it until my search is done? Its times like this that I wished my life had ended on that battlefield; maybe then I would be free from the annoyances of this world._

"Why now? Why haven't you made my life hell until recently?" _Something tells me I don't want to hear the answer, but the only way this waking nightmare will end is to find out._ Key Master was silent again, leading me to wonder if she was finally gone. Much to my disappointment, she walked from behind a row of Pecha bushes, grinning.

/ Simple: I was brought into being once the first key bearer was found. When you pulled Charis from the brink of death into a soul gem, a chain reaction started; your actions set into motion events that would shape both his life and yours. \ Her smile flickered, changing to a pained smirk.

/ That is, if you can ever understand what they are trying to tell you. \ Before I could even blink, she vanished again; her laughter lingering for a moment before fading away. _What could there be to understand? Charis has strong if not revolting feelings for… Blackwind… just like Kentako must have had… but what else is there to understand? _

"Bah, why should I even believe you? Your entire existence is only due to me delving a bit too far into various spellcrafts; what could you ever teach me?" _And, for that matter, what could dealing with Charis teach me, other than how to barely contain my rage?_ Only the echo of my own voice met my question, along with Key Master's' quiet laughter.

"Answer me!"

/ Why should I? You've already proven to be closed-minded to anything I have to say. \ _Damnit… she has a point… a weak one, but still a point._

"I thought you existed to bring together the key bearers? Wouldn't answering my question help that quest?" _Heh, if I can't win through anger I'll beat her with logic._

/ Another time perhaps, maybe when you're feeling more open to hearing something besides what you want to. When you feel like talking rationally and not yelling, I'll be waiting. \ I growled quietly, unable to hold in my anger any longer._ The nerve of her saying that to me, if she was more than an illusion I would teach her a few lessons in respecting her superiors, but that is not the case. sigh, Its dark enough that I can slip back inside without having to deal with anyone besides Witchhazel at least. _

o0o0o0o0o0o0

A piercing howl echoed through the cool night air, followed by a second. Great, sounds like Damitri is on the hunt again. _At least this time he shouldn't mistake me for Tatakichi… and if he does I'll roast him alive; but, enough on that. _A thick layer of dew had already started forming on the lawn, making the trip back less than pleasant.

"Stupid hallucination, or guide, or whatever she is; won't leave me alone…" Verbalizing some of my pent up anger really does the trick; especially when no one's around to ask questions about what I'm griping about. _Why bother though, it'll only_ _come back in another form later. Hmph, why is this situation even getting to me that badly? She seems easy enough to drive away, and it's not like-_

"Odd time for you to be wandering about." In shock, I whipped around and breathed out a thin trail of fire at the voice, illuminating the area in a brief flash of light. A familiar shape darted just out of reach of my attack, silhouetted against the cloudy night sky. I cut my attack off short, watching a few black feathers curl and burn as they touched the trail of fire.

"You know not to sneak up on me." _Yeah, I really don't need to lie about why I torched a member of William's family. _I made sure to put on a calm look; mostly to disguise my annoyance, but also to keep her from reporting to William.

"It's not my fault you're so jumpy." _Oh, and I suppose it's also not your fault it's damn hard to see a Murkrow on a cloudy night? _She landed nearby, ruffling her feathers in annoyance.

"Jeez, you nearly roasted me alive with that attack."

"And you nearly gave me a heart attack." _Not really, but I wanted to play off her sympathy. _Knowing Witchhazel, she'll probably fall for it and try to make some quick amends. I met her angry look with a cool one of my own, keeping my gaze expressionless.

"Just try to be careful in the future; I don't plan on dying just yet." _Yeah right, like I'd even waste the energy to_…a sharp pain from my ear cut that thought off.

"If you'll make sure to not jump out at me, I'm sure that can be arranged." The fur on my neck bristled, even as I tried to keep my anger in check. _Hmph, like I'd waste my time on her anyway. _I winced inwardly as another jolt of pain shot through my body. "In any case, at least you only lost a few feathers, so no real harm done?" She puffed herself up, glaring at me.

"Luckily your attack wasn't very well aimed; otherwise it might have turned out different." It took a lot of self-control not to show her what happens when I do aim. Instead, I grunted a quick apology, not meaning it in the least and walked right by her.

"Is there something bothering you?" The sudden change in her attitude caught me off guard…well, enough so that I didn't outright lie.

"Nothing I can't handle." It's kinda true. I can take care of myself, after doing it for over a thousand years a few more days should be a breeze. _At least I hope so. _She muttered something before flying off, leaving me alone finally. With that minor irritation concluded, I carefully opened the door and wandered inside, hoping to just relax for a bit.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

/ Miss me? \ Just as I was settling down to have a bite to eat, the last anything I wanted around decided to make my life miserable again.

"About as much as having fleas." _Why. That's all I want to know. Why must she be around? _I tried to ignore her presence, but every time I just had it under control I caught a glimpse of a tail flicking dangerously close to my head. With every near miss my anger rose, chasing away any chance of a peaceful night.

"Must you do that?" She just gave me a wicked smile, growing bold and letting the tip of one tail brush against my cheek. I growled, curling my lip slightly; letting my temper flare.

/ You need to lighten up, it was a joke. \ _Like hell it was just a joke. I know she's trying to make me lose control. It must be some sick game to ruin my search; that has to be it! _

"I'll lighten up when my search is over, or when you're gone; whichever comes first." _If then._

_Maybe my destiny is something I don't want to face, yet must because that is how life works. But why? Why must I be bound to what is supposedly predetermined for me? Don't I have any free choice?_ Great, now I'm second-guessing myself again.

/ Sometimes stopping and reflecting on things past is a great way to understand the road ahead. \ _Bullshit. The past is useless, all thinking about it does is bring up feelings that are best left buried. _Where there was once the prospect of a great legacy now lies in ruins. Only ghostly whispers of what once was a great clan remain.

_I almost miss lying near the fire; Kentako's hand running so gently through my fur… it was so relaxing… _But, just as he is dead, so are the foolish hopes of ever feeling that way again. Only finding what my future is matters now.

"And most of the time it brings on unneeded pain." _And other things I would prefer to forget, like my dealings with… him. _

/ Trying to forget where you come from only makes life hollow. Things you've experienced and others you've met are the building stones for things to come. \ _Hah, like I would want to even think about ever knowing half the others I've dealt with over the centuries, let alone actually care. _

"My purpose in this life is the only thing I need. No happy-sappy relationships, no true friendships, no acquaintances. The only thing important is whatever fate has in store for me. _Yet William keeps extending a hand of friendship to me… but why? I don't have anything he wants, nor can I help him gain anything new… it doesn't make any sense… _Key Master let out a long sigh, lying on her stomach and letting her tails come to rest.

/ Why must you deny yourself even the smallest of comforts? There are many around you who would welcome you as a friend. \

"Because friendship doesn't matter; plain and simple." I was about to continue when a single tear ran down her muzzle; leaving a glistening trail as it went.

/ Then until you learn differently, you will never succeed. \ _That does it; I'm getting rid of her here and now. And I know just the thing to drown her and this stupid doubt out._

"Fuck you. Fuck you and your stupid riddles. I'm not going to lie here and let you torment me anymore." I kept my voice low enough as to not wake anyone, but loud enough to get my point across. She opened her mouth to taunt me further, but I cut her off sharply.

"And don't even say it; the Masaharu clan is dead, and the Teragashi bloodline ended with me. There's nothing left but just a few worthless names. Searching for my destiny is all I have left, and I'll be damned if even the 'Key Master' is going to get in the way of that." A new pain rippled through my body…one that was so familiar…yet forgotten. _Bah, it doesn't matter_. What did matter was how haunting the look she game me at my words.

/ To denounce the things you once treasured…how could you?_ \ Easily. They really don't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Though they once did… Besides, they're just titles from a lifetime past._

"What, you actually think them mean anything?" The pained look in her eyes almost brought a flicker of sympathy to me… almost. _Hmph, I'm not backing down from my point; those names died along with Kentako at Blackthorn heights. _With a growl, I stood up, making a point to keep my tails off the floor. Enough of arguing with her, I need a strong drink.

/ Losing yourself in alcohol only makes things worse, not better. \ I didn't even acknowledge her words; I'm done listening to anyone but myself.

Without really having to look, I made my way to Karakof's vodka stash, psionically wrenching open the cabinet; nearly ripping the small doors off their hinges in my haste. At least I was careful not to break any of the glass bottles. With more care, I pulled one of them loose; unscrewing the cap with my teeth and letting the sharp smell wash over me. Even without drinking any of it I could feel it calming my nerves.

"Well, at least the feeling makes tasting it worthwhile." I took a deep breath, gripped the neck in my jaws and tipped my head back. It was like drinking molten metal; the foul liquid burned like hell going down. Even so, the warm feeling that radiated from my stomach made it well worth it. I managed to down about half the bottle before the need to breathe forced me to stop. _At least it wasn't as bad this time, guess I'm getting used to it finally._

It took a bit before the liquor took full effect, so I just sat down and waited. Soon, a relaxing calm seeped into my brain, dulling my senses a bit. It was nice…kind of a calmness settled over me like a veil, swallowing the anger and bitterness and leaving a euphoric calm behind.

"I don't see what the big hic deal is about… fate… I think…" For the first time that I can clearly remember, things feel like they're on the right path. It's like… whatever in the hell that vile stuff is made from freed me from the shackles of…_ehe, shackles is a neat word. Kinda rolls off the tongue… Shackles…_

"Oh man, I feel good…though a bit hot…man, I wonder what it would be like if I could take my fur off… ehehe, a nude Ninetails… wait… I already am…" I started laughing manically, cutting it short when a sleepy shout came from the laundry room; knocking some sense into me. In a drunken panic, I gathered up the remaining bottles and made a dash for the back door; nearly breaking a few when I lost traction on the kitchen tiles. Thankfully they only bounced off with a loud clink.

"Okay, calm down…think this out rationally…" I saw a bit of movement in the corner of my eye; _fuck, someone caught me! _My heart started pounding, causing my pulse to thunder against my ears. With a loud yelp, I wrenched the door open; dropping one of the bottles and running toward the woods.


	3. part 3

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I woke up on a bed of pine needles with a massive headache. The smell of what I could only guess was a mixture of half digested meatloaf and vodka assaulted my already aching head. God, every part of my body was stiff.

/ I warned you it would only make things worse. \ _Fuck, she's here._ And I thought having a hangover was bad enough. Ignoring my body's protests, I got up to a sitting position and looked around. Sure enough, Key Master was lying next to a large pine; giving me a pitying look.

"Leave me alone." I coughed lightly, trying to clear out the feeling of cotton balls in my mouth. I can't even remember what happened between running from the manor and now… it's just a haze.

/ Why must you do this to yourself? \ _What does she care? Her entire purpose is already defined, where mine is still hidden. Besides, it's not like she could know how I'm feeling._

"Because you won't go away. If I have to be miserable, might as well have some escape." _Even if the escape comes at a high price. _Even a few minutes of being free of her is worth waking up feeling like shit. _I could do without the aches, but what can you do?_

/ I can feel much more than you think. I can feel Charis' soul still crying out against your hatred of Blackwind. And I can hear your pain, even though you refuse to admit its there. \ _Like hell I'm in any pain beyond this hangover and my growing hatred of her. Besides, how the hell could she feel anything like that? _

"Bullshit!" I winced, the sound of my own voice was deafening enough, but that shout really hurt. Thankfully I had passed out in a denser part of the woods, or it would have been much worse.

/ Doubt me if you want to, but your heart is still in there; buried beneath the layers of hatred and bitterness, even though you deny that it still exists. \ It hurt to think hard, so I let her comment sink in. _Of course I have a heart, it's just devoted to the same cause as my mind; find out my destiny and enact it, right? _

"Who says I'm denying it?" Key Master simply gave me a dark look, flashing a few teeth in a pained smile.

/ You don't have to say it, it's written on your face. You still don't believe a single word I've said so far. So I shall leave you to your drinking; maybe there you'll find the answers you seek. \ She turned, walking away slowly. I wanted to say something, but the words caught in my throat. As she faded from view it felt like something was tugging at my heart, compelling me to stop her. Good thing it didn't take over, lest I lose even more of my dignity.

"I don't need your sympathy, so leave me alone." I still felt like crap, so most of the morning was spent lying there and waiting for my hangover to fade. Thankfully I had passed out in a less traveled area, granting me at least some peace.

The quiet of the forest gave me time to think about many things; from how much my body ached to Key Masters parting words. _sigh The peace is nice, no Dracoris getting in the way of my plans, no William trying to be friendly when I want to be alone, no any of them bugging me. _

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I spent most of the day lying in the sun, lost in thought. It's amazing the memories that surface while you have nothing better to do. _sigh Guess I have used a lot of others over the years…at least a dozen quite attractive males of various species; three that actually had true feelings for me. Every one ended badly for them. _

_Even now, I can still here that one…Kasiko was his name I think or it could have been Kasako…damn, what was it? Either way, I only really remember how sweet he was; kinda clingy but still fun to be with. He was owned by a very influential man; one that I thought played a big part in my fate. Turns out he didn't, so I less than gently dumped Kasako…or Kasiko…whatever; he was heartbroken but I didn't care, he no longer had any use to me. _Just thinking about his tear streaked face… the way he asked me why… for some reason it started causing my chest to hurt.

/ Do you believe me now? Or do you require more evidence? \ I growled softly out of annoyance. _Just my luck, she was back._

"Evidence of what? It's probably just something disagreeing with me." _Yeah, like my past actions. NO, it was just the meatloaf and Vodka disagreeing with me. Like I would ever care how he or anyone except myself felt._ I winced when the pain intensified… _damn Charis acting up again._

/ That's not Charis causing the pain, but your own conscience. No matter how hard you deny it, deep down you still care…if only about what you have lost. \ I glared at her for all the good it did. The sad look she gave me made my anger pointless; all the hatred I could muster fell flat against her pity.

"Caring about the past is a waste of time. He's dead now, along with everyone else I knew before locating William; what good is it to dwell on ghosts of the past?" _And, for that matter, why am I still thinking about it?_

/ Because your past is who you are, events and choices that shape have shaped you into what you are now…even if it is a self-centered, bitter creature who cannot even see how wrong she is. \ _Wrong? Hah, I've survived longer than most Ninetails have and I'm wrong about something? NO, I cannot be wrong; it must be another trick!_

"Your word games won't work on me; I know you're just trying to manipulate me." My vision was still a bit blurry, but I still caught sight of Key Master's tails swaying a few feet away; back turned to me.

/ This isn't a game, Kitsune; it's life. You keep denying what you know to be true in your heart, and someday… it might win. \ _What the hell was she talking about? Of course this was just another mind game. Wasn't it?_

"What?" She turned, fixing me with a blank stare. The look of deadness in her eyes was strange, so devoid of emotion.

/ I can only help you so much; the rest is up to you. \ Without another word, she bounded off; leaving me even more confused. _'And someday… it might win.'? _Her words kept running through my mind until it hurt. _I hate it… the doubt her words are weaving into me… yet somehow, I think she's right… even though it sickens me to admit it._

With a grunt of annoyance, I pulled unscrewed the cap on another bottle; tossing it aside and downing some of its contents in one go…

o0o0o0o0o0o0

"_I-I…um…" The Mightyena looked away, trying to hide his embarrassment; failing. I teased his neck with a tail, electing a small whine of pleasure from him._

"_You what? Come on, you can tell me." Males were so easy to read. He obviously had failed to retrieve the house key I had requested, and was afraid to tell me. Hmph, no matter; a small punishment for failing with a fake bit of sympathy should get things moving again._

"_I-I love you…" His voice was almost a whisper, but I managed to catch what he said anyway. For a brief moment, I lost my concentration; feeling genuinely surprised. Thankfully, it passed almost immediately. Hmm…I can use this…_

"_Hmm, what did you say?" I used the silkiest voice I could muster, coaxing him to repeat his last words. Stupid male…_

"_I love you." His voice carried more confidence, as if saying it once had confirmed it for him. The look in his eyes told me that he wasn't lying; he truly felt that way. Pity that his usefulness has almost ended; his blind feelings for me could have proven quite useful._

"_I… I never expected that…wow, um… I know that I like you, so maybe we can explore our feelings further?" His face lit up with happiness; guess my well-chosen words did the trick. Like I would ever find anything in someone so common. But, for now he has uses, so it would be wise to keep him willing to serve me. _

"_You really mean it?" No, I'm just stringing you along like a puppet._

"_Of course, would I lie to you?" I gave him a shy smile, looking at him innocently. He lapped it up, just like I expected. Stupid male._

"_O-of course not." His stuttering was a bit annoying, but tolerable. I'd dealt with worse in the past, so Kasako was a nice break. Even a bit cute, for a semi-useless Mightyena that is. Hmph; can't let myself get too involved though, I have a hunch this one will be a dead end too…_

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I awoke slowly, still clinging to the last wisps of that dream. My head hurt badly from the hangover, but my chest hurt from something else. Judging by how hard it was to open my eyes, it was mid-morning; I could feel the warm rays shining down on me, doing more harm than good. Ugh…it was worse than last time; every inch of my body ached, protesting loudly at any movement.

"Stupid dream…" It had been so real… like it had happened only a few days ago. He had been quite useful; then I broke his heart by telling him another lie about why I didn't want to be with him. Back then, I had laughed inwardly at his misery, figuring he deserved it. _But now…_

/ You regret it. \ I didn't even flinch this time, instead just sighing quietly. _Maybe if I ignore her she'll go away._

/ Not likely, it seems like you're making a bit of progress. \ _Toward what? He had no use in my search, just a dead end that lead to a minor setback. _Again I stayed silent, choosing instead to try in earnest to ignore the pounding in my head.

/ Ignoring me won't do anything either, like it or not you need my help. \ _The only thing I need is another drink… and maybe some Keradine… stupid hangover… _

I stood up slowly, managing to take a few wobbly steps before my hind legs gave out. Seconds later, I threw up; choking on the horrid taste of alcohol and bile mixed with a splash of blood from biting the tip of my tongue. The violent motions also caused every other part of me to ache, only compounding my misery. After what felt like a few gallons had been violently ejected from my mouth, it finally ended; taking what little energy I had with it.

"Ugh…" The impact barely registered, just another jolt of pain and something sticky clinging to me. _Man… hangovers are the worst thing._

/ How can you say you need nobody but yourself when you cannot even face the truth? \ _What truth, that I'm probably getting addicted to drinking?_

"I can face myself just find." I could say it, but it didn't feel convincing. _Am I letting her corrupting words have that negative effect on me?_

/ Then answer me this; why are you hiding out here, drinking yourself into a stupor every night and sulking every day? \

"Simple, I… I…" _Why was I doing it? Fuck, she got me there._

/ Even you don't know who you are yet… it's sad in a way. \

"Leave me alone…" I closed my eyes, wanting nothing more than to slip back into unconsciousness. At least there, I could get some peace. I could feel her watching me, probably grinning in that irritating way. I bet she even found my misery funny.

/ Not in the least. I just wish you would stop seeing things through clouded eyes. \ _Hmph, like someone who only just came into existence would know anything about seeing things for how they are. I've lived beyond the life expectancies of just about every creature in the world, seen empires rise and crumble. I, who have lived over 1200 years, could never be seen as judging with clouded thoughts…right?_

"The only thing clouding my eyes is a blinding irritation with you." She was silent for so long, I forced my eyes open, thinking she had vanished again. To my disappointment, she was still nearby, watching me with a sad stare.

"What? Feeling sorry for me again? Or just trying to come up with another mind game to use on me?" Key Master gave me a sad smile, flashing a few teeth. I started to growl, but it caught in my throat. _What's the point of it, she's just going to turn it against me._

/ I only point out the truth; the 'turning against you' is your own doing. But I can see you're still not ready to learn. \ Without another word, she stood up and walked away; looking back once. _Stupid… everything… need another drink…_

o0o0o0o0o0o0

"_Demon Fox!" I glared at the men defiantly, daring them to attack me. Hmph, only three? This should be fun. Left guy raised his axe, preparing to cleave my head in half. Too bad he didn't see my counter coming until it was too late. It was extremely satisfying to watch his clothing burst into flame; he ran around stupidly, beating at it with his free hand. In that moment of confusion, I launched my real attack, spraying out a line of fire just in front of me. _

'_Demon fox, you say? Well then, a demon I shall become." The flames licked at my fur, wrapping around me like a warm blanket; adding its strength to my own. Power flowed through me, shaping my form into something from the deepest recesses of their nightmares; knowledge I had gained compliments of my latest pawn. From the fires of hell itself I seemed to appear, striking fear into the remaining fools._

"_W-What are you?" The terror in his eyes was great, with their deaths a new set of events would be set into motion; ones that would benefit me greatly. But of course, that doesn't mean I can't enjoy this. With a chilling laugh, I attacked; dark red flames scorching the very earth as they streaked toward their targets. Well… some of them did, the others were illusions; but only I could tell which ones were real. _

"_Kitsune; born from the fires of hell, and sent to cleanse this place of impurity." Total bullshit, but it works. Besides, I was going to cleanse this place of their existence, just for my own gain._

"_Please, spare us…we'll do anything…" The middle human fell to his knees, holding his arms out and begging for mercy. Too bad…he landed right in the path of a real fire. _

"_See hell… go to hell…" the fire caught quickly, climbing up his clothing; greedily devouring the new fuel. His agonized screams echoed in my ears, adding a grim satisfaction to the sight of his skin charring, falling off in burning chunks as the hell fire attack burned him to the bone…_

_o0o0o0o0o0o0_

I woke up with a gasp, heart thundering in my chest. _That was too real… and not pleasant to relive. That happened about… fuck, can't remember; stupid hangover._

/ 641 years ago; if they had lived, the Ketchum clan wouldn't have risen to power. You didn't have to be so cruel though. \ _Cruelty, huh? And what of it?_

"Fuck off, you weren't there. Hell, I barely remember that day beyond what I just dreamed."

/ That's because you buried it within yourself, using your own arrogance as a shield. \ _Hmph, they were beneath me anyway… but, that scream still came back… was I wrong? NO, I can't be._

"What do you even care? You don't have to relive these things like I do." _And why won't you just leave me alone?_

/ I don't have to relive them to feel the pain they cause. Like it or not, I'm a part of you; one that you choose to insult and direct so much hatred toward. \ _Hmph, like you could ever understand what I've been through._

"Just go away, I'm feeling terrible right now." I didn't even bother opening my eyes; her presence was easy enough to feel.

/ I can't do that and you know it. you still have- \

"-So much to learn, yeah, yeah." _God, I feel even worse than yesterday. I don't need anyone…I really don't. _

/ You don't need them, but deep down you want someone…you may deny it but those feelings are there. You miss Kentako…you miss his warm touch…and you almost found that in William, but you deny yourself it. \ _Why get used to even the smallest comforts? What if my destiny means having to move on again, or even kill him?_

"Just…just go away." I wanted to be alone, if only to wade through my misery by myself.

/ Why? \ Her question seemed off… no matter how much I insulted her no matter how many times I told her to go away, she still returned. _All I want to know is why?_

/ Because there's still some good in you, buried beneath all the hatred, you do want me here. \ _Yeah right._

"You're the last anything I want around." I felt a few of her tails brush my chest, just out of my reach.

/ You don't really mean that, I can tell. But for now, I'll accept your wishes. Just please try not to drink so much, it really isn't becoming of you. \

"I'll do whatever I want." _Like she could tell me what to do. _A paw brushed against my cheek, the nail just touching my skin…I lashed out, only managing to send a wave of pain through my body.

/ I'll be nearby if you want to talk, but you really should just rest. \ I couldn't move, the pain was so great; so I just sighed and let the blackness of sleep take over again.

I woke up a few hours later. The sun had risen high enough that the trees blocked most of it out, casting their shadows in deep pockets around the area. Most of the soreness was gone yet I didn't want to move. Something about Key Master's words had really sunk in… and I didn't like it.

"Just what is my fate? Am I to just wander through life with no purpose?" It was pointless to ask the trees, they only listen; and even when they do speak it is unheard by all. Just as well I would think; I am alone in this world, by choice or by fate I do not know anymore. The reason itself doesn't really matter, only the bitter aftertaste it leaves will remain; and the entire time I can only ask why…

/ Because you refuse to let anyone in; you hide behind so many masks you've forgotten who you are. \ I leaned up slowly, slipping on some loose pine needles and collapsing back to the ground.

"Why are you back, thought of more mind games?" _I may be alone emotionally, but that doesn't mean I want to be around her. _

/ You're lonely, yet you push away anyone who reaches out to you; no wonder you hate everything. \ _No, I only hate you. _

"Is that the only reason you came back again? Or is there some other reason for bothering me." I looked around slowly, not wanting to be snuck up on again. She was close… I could feel her presence…

"Now who's hiding?"

/ Only you, I'm in plain sight; you're just too blind to see me. \ Her voice had a sickening note of authority to it. _Hmph, I'm not blind to her…she's here, I know it. Somewhere… where was her voice coming from? _

/ Don't tell me you've already forgotten the lesson I taught you? \ _Close…in the shadows… _I caught sight of her green eyes burning brightly in a nearby pool of darkness. Hmph_, like I'd be fooled by such a trick. _She was still nearby…hiding behind me in plain sight, I could sense it.

"I know you're behind me, so come out." Her annoying laughter rang out in the still air, scaring a few Pidgey from their nests.

/ Good, good; you are learning! For a moment I thought that would fool you, but you're finally ignoring what you see and trusting what you feel. And I had all but lost hope for you. _Fuck you, I'm not about to be fooled by one of your tricks. _I listened to her footsteps coming closer, trying to muster enough energy to move, but managing only to growl quietly.

"I'll ask again; why are you back?" She came into my line of vision, flashing me a toothy smile, gently brushing my cheek with a tail.

/ To talk, something it seems you really need to do. \ She stretched out nearby, fixing me with yet another piercing gaze. I managed to meet it for only a few seconds before tearing my gaze away again; just something about it made my chest ache again.

"I have nothing to say."

/ Your eyes tell me different. I can see the pain in them…those memories must really hurt. /_ Yeah right…like I would believe her…_

/ I'm always near if you change your mind. \ _Just leave me alone._ She sighed quietly, resting her head upon her forepaws; watching as I started into my evening ritual of drinking until I passed out…

o0o0o0o0o0o0

If I had another dream, it must not have been vivid enough to remember… or the taste of bile in my throat drove it away. Whatever reason, I was glad; dealing with Key Master is enough for me. _Speaking of her, why the hell must she keep returning to torment me further? _

/ Because you still refuse to accept the truth. \ _That voice… it wasn't her… but it couldn't be… _I stood up too quickly, barely standing on my forelegs before they gave out; sending me tumbling to the ground. Upon impact, my stomach heaved; sending yesterdays binge back out. God it tasted horrible, and the stench was much worse. _Why must I suffer so much?_

/ Because you refuse to understand. \ _No… it couldn't be…_

"Master?" My eyes were watering from pain and the stench, but I thought a tall figure was walking toward me…holding his hands out, welcoming me…

/ What are you talking about? \ I blinked hard, rubbing my eyes with a paw. The figure was gone, replaced by the ragged form of Key Master. _Great, now she was using illusions to mock me._

"Do I even have to say it?" _I felt like crap… I just want to curl up and die; if only to end this cycle of misery and pain. _

/ No, I know how you feel…but why did you call me master? \ _Like hell I would tell her that._

"Nothing…just really feeling bad today, so don't even start with me." _What was that… am I really losing touch that badly? _

/ You're still denying things, hiding behind a false confidence. \ _So what if I am?_

"Like you can talk; all you do is preach this and that to me, even when I've said multiple times I want nothing to do with it."

/ I only say what you deny; I'm trying to help you. \ _You can help me by going away and leaving me to my misery. _

/ Why must you keep yourself sealed away like this? \ _That does it! I'm tired of being prodded like some experiment._

"Because I only have one thing even keeping me going anymore, and that's finding out what my true destiny is! Obviously, being with Kentako was out of the picture, because he was fucking GAY! So what's left? Wandering until who knows when, chasing after phantoms and false hopes?" I didn't care that my head was starting to hurt worse from yelling; it felt good to finally vent those feelings.

/ That' why I'm here, to help you- \ I cut her off sharply.

"Do what? All you've done so far is drive me up the wall with your cryptic advice and mind games!" The hurt look in her eyes made me feel a bit better, so I pressed the attack.

"If you can magically read me like it seems you can, then look me in the eyes and tell me I'm wrong!" I glared at her, waiting in anticipation for the moment of victory. Her eyes locked with mine, those bright green orbs burned with conviction.

/ You're wrong. You've been wrong from the start, and you're too stubborn to even realize it. \ I held my ground, fighting hard not to show my shock. _How… how could she say that?!_

/ I just hope you figure that out before you fall so far into your own self-pity that even I can't help you. \ _I don't need help from anyone! _

"Fuck you!" I grabbed the last bottle I had, nearly spilling the entire thing as I smashed the neck against a tree and drank from it until my lungs burned from lack of oxygen. I don't care anymore; only alcohol makes the pain go away… it's my only escape…

/ I see you've made your choice… \ I gave her a bleary eyed glare, coughing as some of the vodka backed up into my throat. _Maybe if I stay drunk long enough, she'll go away. _

"So what? You can't complete your reason for being now?" The world started to spin… I think drinking so soon was a mistake.

/ No, but it may be too late for you. \ Her voice echoed in my head as the world blacked out.


	4. part 4

o0o0o0o0o0o0

"_Are you sure about this attack, master?" I looked up at him, searching his face for some sign of doubt. It didn't seem right…why would Kurataso send his forces so openly like this? I murred softly when his hand began scratching my ears, he always knew how to calm me down. I looked down at the map in front of us again, studying it thoroughly. It was my duty to protect him on the battlefield; I must be ready for any possibility._

"_It does smell like a trap, but that cannot be helped. We have his forces pinned against the waterfall; any hesitation will mean losing this critical advantage." He knew best… besides, once Kentako made a plan up he never backed down; something I still admired in him. It just didn't feel right; Kurataso never made such stupid moves without some reason… what could it be?_

"_Come Kitsu, we have a battle to win." I took one last look at the map and, with a bad feeling still nagging at my mind, followed._

"_Yes master." I may only see him as my master because of… because I do, but that doesn't mean my respect for him has fallen. Kentako and I have been together for many years and no amount of disappointment or… disgust could ever change that._

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I tossed in my sleep, trying to escape the memories, but being sucked back in. I couldn't get away… the shadows were crushing in, swallowing me alive… hatred, pain, confusion…

_o0o0o0o0o0o0_

_The battle was going well, just as Kentako had predicted it would. Kurataso's forces were being shattered right and left. It was almost too easy… and where was Kurataso? _

"_Is something wrong?" I looked up from my thoughts, staring into those dark brown eyes. _

"_It seems too easy of a victory; Kurataso is smarter than to let his soldiers be so easily shattered." I knew it was wrong of me to question my master's judgment, but it had to be said._

"_Even the best of us can make mistakes, maybe this was his time." Maybe it was, but I wasn't going to let my guard down just because Kentako felt at ease; my duty was to be strong even when he wasn't. My attention wandered off as he scratched my neck, running his fingers through my fur playfully. Like so many times before, I felt content… even happy to be his servant. My mind was just drifting into a state of bliss when a keening wail shook me back to reality. _

"_Look out!" Panicked shouts and cries of pain echoed through the area as a swarm of armored Scyther crashed into the nearest group, causing heavy casualties. Friend and foe alike were hacked apart; limbs, weapons and mixed colors of blood flew in all directions as the crazed insects took down two of Kentako's men for each one that fell. _

"_Circle around, they're fighting blindly!" Kentako barked out orders feverishly, trying to force some order back into his panicked troops. He clenched his hand around his sword, gripping it tight enough that the tendons on his hand were showing._

"_Master?" It worried me to see him so stressed; under normal situations, he made an excellent general. But when he was angry… Kentako became dimmer than the Scyther carving up his troops. Thankfully, it took quite a bit to send him over the edge._

"_Charge!" sigh Maybe not… As he ran toward the fierce melee, I kept close; acting as his eyes and ears, wary of someone taking advantage of his blind charge._

_o0o0o0o0o0o0_

_No… not again… I don't want to remember it…_ I thrashed wildly, trying in vain to escape the crushing memories… no…

o0o0o0o0o0o0

"_You're such a fool Kentako, and so easy to trick." I watched helplessly as Kurasato and my master fought, weapons flashing at nearly untraceable speeds. His skill was great, I've born witness to many duels he fought for his honor; every one ended in his victory. But this was different… even I could see that he was outmatched. This wasn't a duel, it was real life… and he was losing. Even in the face of unequal odds, he fought with a grim determination; parrying every blow and swiftly bringing his blade to bear again; only to be forced onto the defence once again._

"_Master!" time seemed to slow… I could see the blade piercing his gut, blood dripping along its edge. His lips moved soundlessly, calling out to the one who shared his final thoughts… and it wasn't me. Yet, I still felt a surge of anger burning at my heart, crying out for vengeance. It doesn't matter that his love never would have been for me… he was my master, my friend, the one who shared my heart._

"_Do you want revenge? Is the hatred for me burning within your mind?" Kurasato jerked his blade from my dying master, twisting the hilt as a final insult. I couldn't stand it… my master's killer just standing there, taunting me. _

"_You cannot kill me, its in your eyes… you don't have the instinct, nor the will to take a life." His words bit deep, but I didn't care; only pain and revenge were fuelling me now. Without really thinking I lunged, bearing my teeth and emitting a feral snarl. He somehow vanished just before my attack hit, leaving behind only a puff of black smoke and the stench of brimstone. _

"_As I said you insolent kit, you cannot kill me." I cried out in pain as his blade bit deep, tearing apart skin and muscle with ease. He had tricked me… it was all a ploy to make me drop my guard. It hurt so badly… his attack cut across my entire right flank, spilling my intestines and severing two of my tails. My entire life flashed by… I had failed him… Kentako, I'm sorry… Kurasato leaned close enough for his breath to run across my cheek, the foul stench of death and corruption hung around him like a cloud. _

"_Remember my voice… for even in death I will still haunt you." I shuddered; his voice held an unearthly chill, like something from the abyss itself given a human form. My mind was fading away, my breathing became shallow as the shock and blood loss took effect. I'm sorry, Kentako…_

"_Come Blackfang, things have been quite unfriendly here." As the world began to black out around me, I wondered what he could have meant… Dying wasn't so bad… the pain was gone; leaving a warm feeling…a golden light beaconed, calling me toward it… so warm… I woke up to a scene of devastation. The entire area was blackened, leaving nothing untouched. Kentako's body was gone; only a pile of slag and scattered bone fragments remained. He was gone… but why was I alive? _

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I woke up I a cold sweat, breathing fast. _Oh God, that had been too real… and too painful._ Having to relive his death reopened a very deep wound, one that had healed over long ago.

/ Do you see it now? Your heart still yearns for rest, if only to close the door on your lost love. \ I didn't respond, instead trying hard to hang onto the sound of Kentako's voice just a little longer, but a surge of pain drove it away. Maybe it was the pain of having to lose him again, maybe it was the hangover; whatever it was, I cried. I cried for the first time in nearly 700 years. The saltiness burned my eyes, but it felt good in a way. Like releasing long pent up feelings in some small way… _Why…why did he have to die? It wasn't fair… I should have died then too, at least then I could have been with him. But no… someone or something thought it would be funny to preserve my life!_

"WHY! Why am I here?!"

/ Only you can answer that. \ _No… she knows!_

"Quit lying and tell me!" I used what focus was left and grabbed one of the empty vodka bottles; hurling it at what I thought was Key Master. It missed by a few feet, smashing against the tree behind her with a satisfying crash. She stared at me with a look of pity in her eyes. _She was taunting me… it was a game to her, and I was the pawn!_

/ You still choose anger over reason… how very sad. \ Her voice was coming from behind me; so I hurled another bottle in that direction, only striking another tree. _I hate her so much! _

"TELL ME!" I started throwing bottles in random directions, blindly lashing out with a millennia of pent up anger. Each one only struck wood, exploding in a series of loud pops; the sound only fueled my blind rage. _It wasn't fair… haven't I suffered enough?_ A satisfying yelp came from nearby, probably from her stepping on the broken glass.

"Will it ever end… ?"

/ Yes, but you've brought this new pain upon yourself… \ I was about to respond when something hard struck me in the head, and then the world went black.

o0o0o0o0o0

Colors swirled around me in strange patterns, spinning and twisting in a brilliant dance of light. Time had no meaning here, I could have been out for minutes or days and it wouldn't make a difference. Only the changing patterns around me proved that it was at least moving forward. I felt at peace for once, all the troubles and annoyances that plagued me in the world had melted away, leaving behind a feeling of calmness. It was like a large weight had been lifted, freeing me from centuries of burden… a voice called out, beaconing me deeper… it was familiar…

"Master?" I blinked a few times, squinting from the bright light flooding in through a nearby window. _Was I home… could it all have been a nightmare? It smelled familiar, like someone close to me…_

"No, I'm nobody's master." That voice… it wasn't Kentako. My heart sank a bit, for a brief moment I thought the pain was over.

"But I am a friend, if that helps." _Even after what I've put him through… the lies, the anger, he still thinks that_?

/ Now do you see the true strength of acceptance? \ Great… she's still around. I forced a small smile, ignoring the shooting pain running up my spine.

"Seeing a friendly face always helps" For some reason those words tasted bitter on my tongue. It wasn't bad enough to stop me, but annoying.

"How long was I out?" _And how the hell did you find me? _I could feel his presence nearby, but the intense sunlight left me nearly blind. Oddly enough, just knowing someone was there put me a bit more at ease.

"A few hours; I found you yelling and throwing bottles near the lake. It was lucky I was headed that way." _Or maybe something more… could fate still be pulling me around on a string?_

/ Only because you choose to see it that way. \ _What?_

"Well, it beats passing out again; the ground out there is really hard." _Wait… then what was I lying on? _It wasn't my basket… it was a bit smaller, with a few gray hairs clinging to the wicker. _Had he put me in his?_

"You must have been out there a while; no offense, but I smelled you before seeing you." _Drinking heavily, throwing up on myself more than once, and probably losing control of a few other functions would do that._

"Yet you brought me back anyway?" _It didn't make a lot of sense to me._ He could have easily left me outside to air out, or even ignored me and kept going. _But he chose to help me… he has nothing to gain from it, so why did he do it?_

"You're a part of this family, and nothing can change that. I am a bit ticked about you stealing Karakof's vodka though…" _Hmph, now with the guilt trip; should have known he'd start in on that._

"But, that can be overlooked for now. What matters is that you should get some rest." _That was unexpected._ I gave my forelegs an experimental flex, finding that some of the stiffness was gone.

"If it's all right, I'd really like to get myself cleaned up first." _And maybe some more time to think alone._

"Do you need any help?" I arched my back, ignoring the cracking sound it made. Oddly enough that didn't hurt either, more of a dull ache than any real pain. _Even the headache from being hung over was minor… had he treated me while I was unconscious?_

/ Yes, he's been using the sunlight to transfer his Morning sun's healing to you. \ _He did? This was getting really confusing… why is he going to such lengths for me?_

"No, I can manage by myself."

"There's a clean towel on the hook, just replace it when you're done." I got myself up to a sitting position, letting the warm sunlight wash over me a bit more.

"William?" _Okay… I can do this, telling the truth isn't THAT bad._ I caught sight of something moving near the window; just the outline of his ears and a few glimpses of a forked tail. _Figures he'd be in that form._

Yes?" His soft gray eyes still held that same inviting look, even after all these years. Not one of longing, but one of hope. Only this time, I recognize it for what it is.

"Thanks." I flashed him a genuine smile, making very sure not to flash any teeth; I didn't want him taking it as a threat. He stared for a moment, tilting his head to the left in confusion. _Typical William; fake everything and he laps it up, act truthful and he gets confused. But that's really the charm about him, sort of an intelligent density._ I walked past him, laughing quietly under my breath; not at him but, at how funny he looked.

"I'll start preparing the revival ritual after a quick shower, is that okay?" _I'm doing it either way, though for once it does matter to me if I have his approval; don't want any loose ends._

"Just don't overexert yourself; you're just as important as he is." _More so, but that's another matter entirely._

"I won't." _Man, this truth stuff is kinda nice._

/ Look who's coming around; and I thought others were just pawns to be used and disposed of? \ _Can it, I owe him for helping me; and I make good on my debts._ Thankfully I'm used to her now, so it was easy to keep walking and argue silently without slipping up.

/ Who say's we're arguing? I'm just pointing out something that's changed; you're the one arguing. \ _Yeah right, I know you're going to laugh your head off once I can't hear._

/ No, I was planning on giving you some time alone; the healing process is a long one. \ _If that's what it takes to find my destiny, then so be it._ Once I was making my way up the stairs, it was safe to look around for Key Master. Unsurprisingly, she was already walking alongside me; grinning broadly.

/ Still thinking this is a curse I see. Lighten up, you only get one shot at life and it should be enjoyed. \ _Enjoying life… that must be fun. Maybe she's right in some bizarre way._

"I doubt it could be that simple. Life is a near constant struggle for survival; letting go and having fun is a good way to end up dead." _Yet William has defied that on several occasions… is there some strange reason to it? Or is fate keeping him going? Oh well, worry about that later; right now I can already feel that hot water washing over me._

/ Just go take your shower; you smell awful. \ _You have a sense of smell? _I couldn't help but laugh a bit at that, just something about a spirit being able to smell anything seemed so ludicrous.

/ …Shut up. \ _Heh, gotcha._ It wasn't until it occurred to me that I was laughing. Such a strange feeling, to laugh; even at something that would be considered funny…it felt good, like letting go of a heavy weight. It felt like times past; being able to just live life one day at a time, not focusing only on what the next was to bring. _Is this what it's like to enjoy life?_

"If you don't mind, I'd like to shower alone." My voice was the same, but something had changed; _guess I'm softening up in my old age. Or, maybe it's something else, some unseen force shaping me yet again…_

/ Like I want to smell wet Ninetails; it's almost worse than what you reek of now. \ I stared at her, not even trying to hide the grin creeping across my muzzle. She snorted and walked off, flicking a few tails at me in annoyance. _Looks like I got to her finally; felt pretty good too._

"I'll be done in about ten minutes; I trust you can keep yourself amused that long?" She didn't look back, instead just flicking her tails again. Well, at least she can't cause any trouble. But at the moment, the inviting thought of being clean again was impossible to resist. With one last glance around, I walked in, making a beeline for the tub.

While I waited for the water to heat up, my mind drifted off. _Why had William helped me like that? He says I'm family and that family sticks together, but still… I've lied to him, manipulated him and the others behind his back, and even stolen from him; yet he still extends his hand in friendship to me. Could I truly be wrong? Could there be something more to life than finding the one purpose you exist? Bah, it doesn't really matter anyway; my path is set and nothing can change it. _

I jumped in carefully, being careful not to slip and knock over anything. The hot water against my pads felt good. Gingerly, I pulled up the stopper; switching on the shower in a blast of steaming water. Man it felt good standing under the nozzle, letting the water soak through my fur; sweeping away both the dirt and the aches. Such a simple thing, yet one that brought such comfort… such relief. It took me two tries to get my fur clean, mostly because of the ground in vomit and dirt.

It probably took longer than expected, but you really can't put a time or price on feeling so refreshed. Instinctively I glanced at the big mirror, only seeing my own reflection in the fogged glass; which was a relief. It took a lot of willpower to use the towel not just shake myself dry, though knowing full well that William would chew me out or even ban me helped a lot. Besides, the tingling sensation towelling off leaves feels good. At least I have a few days to rest before their week is up; it would be nice to wait longer, but I gave my word and going back on that is something I won't do, no matter how annoying it is.

I hung the towel back up carefully, wringing it out over the tub just to be sure before heading downstairs, already feeling much better.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

The next few days went by all too fast; mostly because I slept a lot, but I also spent a lot of time thinking. Charis' words still bothered me, they didn't make sense; he was still young yet ready to make such a decision. And the confidence he held… it was more than a blind devotion, more than a childish attachment; he really meant it. No matter how little I wanted to admit it, his devotion to his… mate, _hate using that word._ Well, to Blackwind was all too similar to how I pined after Kentako; only Charis was strong enough to admit it. Sad as it was, he was stronger than me…maybe stronger than I ever would be. He knows where his destiny lies, what his purpose is, and who he really is… something that I do not. _But why… why is it so simple for him yet impossible for me?_

/ Because you have much more to learn than he did; his destiny is one filled with pain yet to come, where yours is still a mystery even to me. \

"So his trials are not over either?" _Seems odd, seeing as he died once already. How much worse could it get for him? _

/ Now is not the time to discuss such things, knowing what may be could alter it. \ _In other words, you really don't know; you're just trying to make yourself look better._

"I see…" _Yeah right, fate may be inevitable but it's almost impossible to know exactly what will happen._

I sighed, sinking further into the soft cushion. I only have a few more minutes before it will be time to start the ritual, so it would be best to enjoy it. It would feel strange to be rid of the soul gems hanging from my ears, mostly because I've gotten used to the feeling of them striking my head every time I move too fast. _Hmm… maybe I should take a cue from Thanos and get my ear pierced… nah. Hmm…Charis and Blackwind's relationship still bothers me… I wonder if I could… no, better not… well, I could see how he reacts and go from there…_

I spent the next few minutes in silence, mostly listening to William and Dracoris arguing about who won their last race. _sigh, He may be mature for his age, but Dracoris is still a kit at heart. Oh well, might as well get this over with…_ I sat up, stretching my forelegs and back before yawning widely. It only took a moment to clear my mind of all thoughts, and a few more to slip into the proper meditative state. I sat completely still, slipping into a trance…


	5. part 5

o0o0o0o0o0o0

The familiar drabness of my pocket dimension came into view all too quick; not saying much as it consists of an inky blackness and omnipresent fog, but still. Thankfully in this place you can mimic anything you've experienced before; even altered mental states. I know Charis well, and his damn empathy could throw everything off for me; so I need an edge. _Hmm…_

/ Still hiding behind masks? \ _Oh great, she's here._

"In this case, I need every advantage possible; Charis can be unruly at times."

/ Only because you meet force with force. \ _What other option is there? Without meeting an attack head on, it could overwhelm you._

"You have a better plan, or is this another 'so much to learn' moment? Because if it is, it'll have to wait." I didn't even bother turning around to find her; it was easy enough to feel her presence next to me. I should have been annoyed, but somehow a semi-friendly presence was reassuring. Now for the sympathy part… The whole area started swaying slightly as the sensation of being intoxicated settled over me. _Man… no matter how many times the nasty hangover hits it's always worth this feeling… well, minus the slightly looser tongue… I wonder if it would fall off if I was drunk enough. That would be weird… bah, need to focus. _

Charis was talking to his… to Blackwind, though the latter hadn't moved an inch from what I could tell. The fog swirled around my paws, making it damn hard to walk straight, especially because the ground kept moving. _Somehow I made it, though it was pretty close; I swear this place has rats, thing darted out of nowhere. Bah, no matter; I was there and we could get this over with._

"As I promised, you were hic given a week alone. I suppose that you are ready to… whoa... return to the physical plane?" _Man… guess I focused on too strong a memory. No matter, I could handle three Charis'; at least I think it's three…_

"You all right?" The concern in his voice cut through my drunken shield, bringing back thoughts from earlier. _Maybe I was wrong about him… just maybe._ In any case, maybe I should approach with a more down to earth attitude.

"Just… just a bit disoriented nothing more." It felt good to not act so imperious; Charis and his… and Blackwind still made my skin crawl, but that was no reason to treat them like dirt… at least right now.

"I take it that our week is up." I shivered inwardly at his tone; _guess I'm not the only one who can hold a grudge._

"Yes, yes; your week to fuck… or talk… whatever it is you freaks do. I don't really care." _Damn it, not what I wanted to say. Crap… hopefully I can recover from that slip up. _

"We just talked; something I doubt you're capable of without speaking lies." _Great, lie and hide behind masks and others buy it. Try to be honest and meet hostility… fucking broken logic. _Then again, Charis probably hates my guts anyway, so it's understandable.

"Right… but enough for now; the preparations are complete, but I have something to talk about in private." _I could discuss it with Blackwind here, but his presence could easily change Charis' answer._

"Anything you have to say to me you can say with Blackwind here." He scowled at me, probably suspecting that I would do something horrible to his… mate while they were separated. Judging by how Blackwind was just sitting in that box, ignoring my presence, I was probably right.

"Not really… this is a bit personal; and his presence may alter your answer." _And if you say no, I don't want him knowing about it with me around._

"… Fine, I'll trust you, but if you harm him in any way… I will find a way to make you suffer." Charis' glare could have killed, though between being drunk and having my own stubbornness to back me up, it didn't have much effect on me.

"You have my word that he will only be returned to his soul gem." Charis curled his lip at that, fixing me with a murderous stare.

"Like your word means anything." The hatred in his voice was unmistakenable; _could he really be the one I sensed? No matter, I'll soon find out anyway…_

"As to be expected hic you still hold some…bitterness toward me; not that it matters if you think about it. Your hatred is pointless; in this realm, you have no power against me. But I digress" During that time, I gently cut Blackwind's connection with this realm, sending his soul back to its container; it would be like falling asleep, nothing more. Charis didn't even flinch, instead he started growling softly.

"What do you want?" _Add belligerent to the list of things Charis is._ _No matter, with him alone it should be simple enough to finish this._

"You were correct in ascertaining that I had a reason for keeping out bound in this world, though it pains me to admit it. Your life or at least something about it is in harmony with mine; and like it or not I need that bit from you." His look changed slightly, still angry yet slightly confused.

"And just what will this do to me?" _Nothing, I think… crap, how does this work?_

/ Simple; as the Key Master I shall remove it from him. \ _Wait, can he hear you?_

/ No, only you can… I think; he's a strange one. \ Charis dropped his scowl and began looking around slowly, ears swiveling in all directions. _Well, guess he can sense Key Master at least._

"Someone's here… is this another one of your sick games?" _Hmph, if only that was true._

"No, believe me or not it seems that my life has to be miserable; something I bet you just love. Unfortunately only I can see her, but it seems your empathy is strong enough to know she exists, so that helps." He gave me a blank stare, so I continued.

"I don't exactly know what's going on at the moment, but she apparently does." _Yeah, that didn't sound quite right._ Charis glared at me again, before surprisingly enough nodding slightly.

"We will never agree on anything else, but for now I believe you." _Well fuck… never expected him to just up and go with it. Oh well, better get this over with._

/ Good, now instruct him to sit still; this magic is dangerous if interrupted. \ I did as instructed, fighting the urge to snap at her for simply ordering me around. But, the only way to get this done was to grit my teeth and listen.

/ Please stand back; I have no idea what will happen if a second soul is too close to the field. \ Again I obeyed; more out of self-preservation than anything, but still.

Charis kept his eyes fixed on me, no doubt suspecting me of something, but unwilling to make accusations just yet. Too bad he couldn't see what was happening, it was pretty neat. Key Master was sitting in the dead center of a large glowing circle; whatever ancient magic she was calling upon burned away the fog, revealing blackness below. Various runes and designs swirled around the border, sometimes stopping and glowing brighter before continuing their rotations.

It was interesting, to say the least; watching magic older than even I am fascinates me. My interest turned to confusion as fine lines began running from nearly random parts of the inner border, crisscrossing at seemingly random points… _wait, there is a pattern._ When the final line stopped, six corners were blocked off; the tip was occupied by Charis while the others remained empty…what was the meaning of it?

Things only got stranger as Key Master began chanting in a language I had never heard, her voice starting as a mutter and ending in a shout. Charis just sat there quietly, oblivious to what was happening; _lucky him._ Key Master's piercing voice rang out; echoing through the normally silent realm and causing whatever energy she had summoned to release itself in an amazing display of light. I turned away, unable to stand its intensity any longer; when it finally died down I received one hell of a shock.

"Just fucking great…" I muttered that before the shock wore off; standing next to Charis was an exact duplicate of himself; only the second 'Charis' was wearing a rusted iron key around his neck. The real Charis gave me a questioning look, so I hardened my features and pretended not to notice the new phantom staring at me.

"You have problems; ones that I really want nothing else to do with." I glared at him, wanting nothing more than to put him out of his misery. But, I swore to William that I would return him to life unharmed… something I'm regretting.

"You don't know the half of it. Anyway, I have one other thing to discuss." _Yeah, something more for me than you._ He cocked his head to the side, staring intently into my eyes. _Damn… those brilliant blue orbs were hypnotic… like he could see into my heart or something; not possible, but still eerie._ It still made me feel awkward, and a bit unnerved.

"No." _What? I hadn't said a word and there's no way he could have… Damn it._

"You're being closed minded about it already; think of the possibilities." _And before YOU even start, shut it._

"And you're being self-serving. Blackwind's feelings for me started as a male, true he is naturally attracted to them but they are still genuine. And my own feelings grew for him as a male; changing one of us would do nothing except patch up your damaged ego, so the answer is no." There's no arguing with him; though they're not blood related, Charis still somehow ended up with William's stubborn attitude.

"…Fine, but at least think about it." He glared at me again, curling his lip and letting out a low growl. I expected such a reaction from him, but asking was only a formality. With my business concluded, I turned to leave; nearly running into the phantom Charis.

/ You leave him alone, it's his choice. \ He stared at me, shifting nervously. _Hmph, at least this one fears me; as it should be._ I paid him no mind, walking roughly past him and vanishing with a small pop.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

It took a moment for me to reorient myself; switching between dimensions really does a number on you. Once the room was back in focus I wandered off to find William, already formulation a new plan of attack.

_If Charis wouldn't cooperate with me, then I'll change him by force. It shouldn't be that difficult; the spell to recreate his body is simple enough, and seeing as it regresses them as well should give me the perfect opportunity. And seeing as I doubt either of them will bother complaining too much, it should go over without a problem._

/ Famous last words… \ _Bah, I don't need your skepticism; it'll work right._

"Great, he's around until you need him… figures." _Well, he might be; I'm just too lazy to bother searching._ The living room had enough space to complete the ritual, and I was still kinda tired. _Well, might as well-_

"I'm around when you need me, just not always interested." _What?_ I looked around the room wildly, searching for the source of that voice. I finally caught sight of a slender Espeon walking around the dining room corner, smiling at me.

"You thought I'd forgotten?" _No, but I did half-expect you to ditch._ It wasn't easy to stay annoyed at his almost idiotic smile, but I managed. _Sometimes I wonder…_

"Let's just get this over with; I'm really getting tired of wearing these earrings." _Not true, but he doesn't need to know that._ He nodded, walking toward the window and psionically pushing the couch flat against the wall; situating himself in front of it. _Figures, he's going for the dramatic 'hide in the light' bit. Typical._ I rolled my eyes while he wasn't looking, making sure to look neutral afterward. _Oh well, let's get this over with._

I set myself up near him, focusing my strength through their soul gems; causing both to glow with an intense light. Patterns of energy flashed in front of me, arcing and swirling in chaotic patterns; invisible to all but me. It was like being in the middle of a storm, the very forces you unleashed tearing at your very essence; threatening to consume you… Abruptly it ended, white light was pouring from their soul gems; dimming even the intense sunlight in an amazing display. So hot… the heat was like two miniature suns attached by a thin metal hoop to my ears. I nearly lost control, wanting desperately to cry out in pain yet unwilling to admit defeat.

With one final blinding flash it was over, the soul gems were safely embedded in their reborn bodies; regressed as planned. I couldn't tell what gender Charis was, and didn't really care at the moment. No matter, my part in this was done, though it only gave me a new problem to deal with.

/ Hey, I'm not a problem! \ _Damn… there goes my peace._ I glanced away while Charis and Blackwind were getting used to being alive again. _Great, the phantom Charis was real._

/ Of course he is, and there will be more; Charis was one of the Key bearers, my spell released that part of his soul and created a duplicate like myself to carry it. \ _So this waking nightmare isn't over?_ She grinned broadly, eyes sparkling.

/ You're stuck with us. \ _Fuck_.

/ Look at it this way, now you can finally start to understand the things you blind yourself to. \ _He even sounds like Charis… except he doesn't hate me. In fact, his eyes held something else… was it pity?_

"-She did owe me a favor." Those words caught my attention; _DAMNIT, he was suppose to keep that quiet. Hmph, my part in this is done._ I snorted loudly, standing up and stalking off; flicking a few tails in annoyance before retreating upstairs. I really wanted to be alone, but somehow I knew that wasn't going to happen for a long time.


End file.
